Mom's Social Whirl

I know I write about Mom a lot, but that is because she is such a funny character. I talk to Mom on the phone every other day and she ALWAYS has news for me. It is so true, since she is one of the busiest 85 year olds ever.

Here is her schedule for the last week:

Sunday - First Mom reads three Sunday papers (my sister calls her house the Library of Congress - there is so much reading material), then, off to the Moose Hall for a potluck to watch the Cleveland Browns play. Of course, since it is a potluck, she is expected to bring a dish to share. When I ask what she is bringing, she tells me she is tired of cooking and is bringing a bag of potato chips. She must be feeling old today since she is always the first in line to bring something home-baked and yummy. The Browns lose again of course.

Monday - A short, quick trip to the grocery to buy the latest “scandal sheets”, like the National Enquirer etc, and a few groceries. In the evening, she has a St. Mary’s Women’s Guild meeting. My best friend from high school keeps in touch with Mom and is her usual chauffeur. Debbie will chauffeur her mother and mine to the meeting and believe me, I am very grateful. Tonight is a guest speaker that talks about the history of Lorain and Mom pronounces it boring. She is however, very happy that she got two compliments on her pretty outfit.

Tuesday - Mom has lunch scheduled with 4 women she used to work with a gazillion years ago. The youngest is 76 and Mom is the oldest. They call themselves the “J and F Cuties”, since they worked for a clothing company as seamstresses called Joseph and Feiss. They each take turn picking the restaurant and today its Mom’s turn. She chooses Red Lobster, which amazes me since she hates the smell of seafood, but man, she loves their shrimp scampi and apparently the cheddar cheese biscuits are perfection. She and her cronies always ask for more biscuits and then fill their handbags with them!

In the evening she meets at the Orthodox Church she still belongs to and its sisterhood group. The sisterhood had about 50 members when I was a child, but now is down to about 10. They plan their bake sale set for Election Day at the church. Mom will cook for this one, her Burnt Butter cookies. At the meeting she learns of another death - always someone dying in mom’s life and she has a funeral pretty much every few weeks. Her comments on how the dead person looks in the coffin are truly hysterical. These old people really compare notes on how the undertaker did his job, like how their hair looked or if the makeup was too orange.

Wednesday - Mom has another lunch scheduled, this time with 4 of her HIGH SCHOOL girlfriends - since Mom graduated 67 years ago this is quite a feat. By the way, she is also on the reunion committee. They go to Perkins and Mom orders the crepes suzette with orange sauce that she calls “craps” suzette. After lunch she is off to the funeral home for the “viewing” wearing what she calls her “funeral jumper.”

Thursday brings two events - first, its Bingo Thursday at the Moose and Mom is a regular. She wins a few bucks and that makes her happy. Then it’s back to St. Mary’s for the senior luncheon, an incredible value - for only $2 she gets lunch, (of course she won’t eat any of it because the food is so bad she says) and a program for seniors - like how to manage their wills, or Irish dancing or how to make a wreath. She says they talk to the seniors like they are not quite bright 5 year olds and she hates the crafts!

Friday brings another fish day - apparently there is something about fish that does attract her. It’s off to the local Slovak Home for a perch fish fry, fries and coleslaw. This is a place that serves on paper plates and still gives you a coke in a small bottle like they did years ago. But, before fish, she goes and has her hair done with a standing Friday appointment - $6 and she is washed, curled and dried and with that $1 tip that hairstylist can surely retire soon.

Saturday is her relaxing day - she goes to 4:30 Mass, then makes herself a little dinner and then watches old Lawrence Welk reruns from 1955. Don’t any of you be calling her between 7 and 8 on Saturday night, since she will not answer her phone.

Mom is so busy, driving herself around, visiting friends in nursing homes and going to funerals, it is amazing. She recently sent me a pretty photo of herself taken wearing a cute pink suit with a note that I should use it as her obituary photo. Let’s all hope that is a long time coming. In just a few weeks Mom will meet her first two great-grandsons when we all gather in Cincinnati for Thanksgiving. I hope you are fortunate to have a Mom as wonderful as mine!

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