Knee High Heaven

I have had a few readers write in and request a new story about my 84 year old mom. I can only assume it’s because we all have someone like her in our lives and frankly, she is quite entertaining and since it is Mother’s Day, here goes:

My mom has a few things she LOVES to do. One is to go to Las Vegas or any other casino for that matter, and the other is to go to bingo. (See a theme here? I believe it’s called gambling). She loves warm weather, “Grey’s Anatomy” and pork chops. She also loves knee high hose. Don’t bother trying to figure out if these topics are related because they’re not. Other than that she always has on knee highs, in Vegas or just walking around town.

Last week she told me she was going to clean out her bedroom dresser. This dresser contains about 50 years worth of old makeup samples, costume jewelry, bobby pins and hankies. It was also her favorite place to hide candy from us kids when we were young and I suspect there may still be a box of Russell Stover’s chocolates living there. Her bottom drawer holds her vast pantyhose/knee high collection. And I do mean vast. When she is finished reorganizing the knee highs by color (cream, white, tan, black and grey) and throwing out the ones with “runners,” she calls me. She wants me to guess how many pairs of knee high hose she owns – and she is careful to mention the count does not include the new, unopened pairs. I guess 30 pair and my sister guesses 20. Boy, were we ever wrong.

MY MOM HAS 135 PAIRS OF KNEE HIGH’S. So, if any of you are going to be traveling to Northern Ohio in the near future and you wear knee high’s, bring your own, since all the local ones are in my mom’s bottom drawer.

*Becky Knows Everything: To all the mom’s out there, have a wonderful day and remember to treasure the mom you have.


Lorie said...

Becky, I'm still laughing out loud at this one! Your writing style, sense of humor, and wonderful skew on life is so much fun to read. Reminds me of Erma Bombeck, only better. Would you consider writing a book, so we can enjoy more of you?

BECKY B. said...

Thanks Lorie! I am glad you are enjoying the posts. I have always thought about writing a book some day. We'll see! Keep on reading.